Something New, Something Different

16 Sep

I feel like I disappeared for quite a while. I was sick, recovering, midst of so much work, and a new relationship that was still supposed to be in the bud but bloomed pretty quick.

Yeah, he came out of nowhere when I had totally given up and absolutely enjoying being alone and feeling uncomfortable about the thought of sharing myself with anybody. But, we have spent every day of the one week we started dating together. And, surprisingly, I really liked his company.

Dinners and movies and shopping and aimless strolls and adventures on public transportation, it has been great. And he is successfully changing my forever-held opinion of all men are pigs, especially when they enter my life. I love how much he respects and appreciates and adores me, so I cannot even complain right now.

Except I still have my guard up pretty strong. He is one of the ultimate nice guys, and feels for me a lot more than I currently return. I mean, it has only been a week but it feels so much longer than that.

And well aware of the fact there are only two ends to a relationship: you break up, or you grow old together. And we already joked about both endings. I don’t even know if that’s an appropriate conversation to have.

All I know is, if there is someone you can trust, share your secrets with, be yourself, and feel comfortable doing that, there is no reason you shouldn’t be with them. I guess maybe it’s because it has been over three years someone has had genuine feelings for me is why I am remaining sort of skeptical… while trying to convince myself to let my guards down.

So, oh well, let’s see where this goes. I don’t want to be one of those girls who push away someone so nice and so sincere because she is too bitter to believe this would be anything different from her past. I like how he makes me feel good about myself, and I like how he is one of the few guys who know how to dress well enough to make a uniform look classy. I admire his avoiding-all-things-trashy lifestyle: no tattoos, no smoking, no drinking, no partying – he’s very much just my type 🙂

So, gonna live it one day at a time, and to remember I have an exam end of October I need to do extremely awesome at. No room for screw ups at all, or my future is going to be a blank page :/

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