Archive | November, 2013

Maybe You

26 Nov

And if you thought about it, if it’s there in the back of your mind
And if you still remember, if you’re reading my name between the lines
If you got an emptiness inside, we should let our worlds recollide.
And though it really hurts sometimes, it was always true.

– Say Lou Lou.

No Bliss Beneath

22 Nov

You will find me between the writings of Sidney Sheldon and Charles Dickens. There, I lie between mystery and tragedy. The mystery might trigger your hypothalamus to release dopamine into your system. But the tragedy you will then uncover is not what a man like you can handle. It remains best, hence, to love me with just sight, not touch. For my skin is chisel, it will carve misery right through your flesh.

Shy

17 Nov

I am shy
I am driven by fear
I am confidence deficient
So you might as well not imagine
The ways I would confess to you
Desire for you is pouring out of me
You can see it but I still can’t speak of it
So you might as well find her
You might as well take her
I am too shy
Too confidence deficient
I am scared to fail
So I will stay still
Afraid I might fall in the fire pit around me.
I am giving you up cuz I can’t fight this fight
I can’t find the courage to make it out of the darkness of tonight
I am helpless
Unless you wanna come and shake me
Shake me and prompt me
Prompt me and guide me
Guide me to your heart
Cuz I am too shy
Living in fear
Afraid to move
Scared of showing you what I feel.

Fugitive Style

10 Nov

Always exciting when all emoloyees are emergency evacuated because the labour ministry is making its way over to check the staff legal status.

L. O. L.

This country is so doomed it projects its doom on everyone within its borders. They have firstly made clear that their citizens get first and only preference. And then every other resident is not allowed to work. But then educators got a 2 month extension to get our degrees attested and translated into Arabic, and then they would grant us a proper work permit. So it was all okay, until suddenly today they invaded and ready to fine schools and deport the “illegal” employee and all their family. But us ‘every other resident’ is the reason this country has even survived till now. But they want to handicap us from helping them with their future, so whatever.

Imagine 24 6yr olds looking at you with confusion asking you where you are going and why you are leaving… and all you can tell them is to not ask any questions. So till now I am not sure if going back to work tomorrow is safe, or we are all going to be rushing home once again. It is a shame it is the future of their own children they are playing with here. So many teachers have left their jobs, especially my class had so many teachers leave them – they were with me the longest and were finally adjusting to the fact I am not going to be leaving them. This is just tragedy for them because this is one of the more expensive schools, highly disorganized and costing families hell lot of money and not giving them any stability.

Sigh. Changes are happening way too fast and not for the betterment of anybody. They want their women to work, okay… but these women do not want to be teachers. They are going into technical fields with no interest in developing the next generation and relied on the foreigners for their English and patience to transform these animals into proper human beings.

Seriously, governments really make horrible decisions with only ways to make money on their minds. Even though they have way too much of it being the largest oil producer and exporter. Greed is the death of all humanity -_-

Love

9 Nov

I love about you what you are ashamed to be beneath your skin
I love you for what she can never understand
I dream about you in every way where I’ve had you and where I could never touch you again
I love you even though I don’t quite understand it
I don’t comprehend my obsession though I don’t feel like I want you
I just want you to know
Know that I am here and I love you
And there isn’t a way to get over you so I might as well secretly love you
I might as well wear the biggest smile watching you love her
I love you even though I lost you before I had you
I love you even though I hide it and never speak of it
God knows how much I love you when to this day I cry about you
I love you definitely doesn’t mean I can’t live without you
A part of me is forever left hollow
Your shape is all that will fill it
Holding you in my arms is all that will complete me
Nothing will be completely alright until the day you wrap yourself around me
Never to let me go but to understand my love
And maybe swallow your pride and love me back
Love me back because you know I know you like she doesn’t
I see you for what she doesn’t
I want you to love me regardless of what I lack
I make up for it in what I can give you
Which is love that will burn you from the inside
Love that will melt away the guilt and the shame
Love that you can find shelter in
I have loved you in a manner the world will never understand
I love you enough to find satisfaction in your memories
Even if your real lips are brushing her skin
I love you in my dreams where you are always holding me tight
I love you for how you tell me you love me
I love the sincerity in your eyes then
I wish I could hear that sincerity in your real voice
I love you with a flame that will burn for all of eternity
In silence, because you are still too good to accept me with nothing but love to give.