Uh, Hi?

4 Jan

I know I’m a tad bit late, but Happy New Year! Things have started looking up ever since that crazy woman encounter, and it isn’t about all that “new year, new me” horse poop. Quite frankly, that never happens. And I never count on a birthday or a year or even a new job or relocation to ever do that.

Change is inevitable. Yet, in my life, it is also gradual. You can absorb all you will ever know in a lifetime in one go, but your change is still not going to immediately happen. So, if there is a list of anythings I have completed the last year learning, it is how I have enjoyed the pretty bumpy road to figuring out where my heart really lies.

My interests are varied, some influenced by curiosity others by passion and still, others by experience. Overall, I have enjoyed teaching. Just the few 6yr old girls I have taught. Mainly because part of me looks at some of these kids as friends, less students. Or because I get to be just myself and use a twisted sense of humor with them that they still laugh at even when they don’t understand. It has, however, not made me fond of kids in general. I still don’t like them. I just like a few of the ones I have come across because they are smart, eager to learn, hug and kiss me way too much, and aren’t spoiled little brats who throw endless tantrums that make you want to grab them and throw them out the window. Nah… these girls I adore.

Then I realized I treat my life like a comedy. Held 4 jobs in the past year, and where one would be stressed about it, I laughed about it. I get some kind of adrenaline rush out of the instability and never knowing what will happen. I mean, there is a limited supply of adrenaline in this part of the world when you run the risk of putting people you care about in more trouble than yourself. You seek it in a less obvious manner.

Then the long gaps between each job helped me become more in tune with myself. So where I didn’t spend time being productive for anybody or anything else, I did so for myself. Cleansing out, renovating self from within, understanding things that make me who I really am and making peace with it. Discovering everything about you, quenching your thirst for obscure knowledge… in the end, education didn’t stop because of limitations. All subjects I had remote interest in, I read up on. You know: where there’s a will, there’s a way!

Oh well, let’s see what 2014 has to bring overall. I don’t expect much, but I hope it will be one – or a few more than one – step closer to shaping and revealing my destiny. 14 has always been “my number” so pretty much fingers crossed for it to bring me luck.

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