2 Feb

Quit work without a notice. Had had it with the management. So just spending my first week out of work trying to get back some focus I seem to have lost.

Likely going to give amateur writing another shot, which used to come to me in tiny fragments while I stayed occupied at work. But I guess this is the time to focus on and dedicate 100% of the motivation within me towards what I want to eventually become. No rocks to lean on to survive, just pushing through all the way. That is, whenever I feel any motivation, I know I have to utilize it towards my ultimate goal. Which again, could be any of the several things that make me happy, not just satisfied.

I need to get out of this phase though first. This phase that has such a strong gravtitational pull I can actually feel my neck down inside the ground. It is all going to be better when I begin to realize where I need to stop being nice and start being a person. Which doesn’t seem to happen until I have received neural electrocution from people who sincerely care about me.

This is why I quit my job. I continued to be way too nice, putting myself last when it came to doing what was in the school’s best interest. When I said I have to leave, they didn’t let me. I was told to put up with it. And I did. Until there was nothing left for them to stomp on, and I decided to disappear without warning. Racism, disrespect, using and abusing, I think I am done ever working with Egyptians for a really long time to come (counter racism at its finest, ehh) 😒


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