Archive | May, 2014

Sadly, You Cannot Revolutionalize Education

15 May

I did it this week. I went to the academic director and I told him every single thing that had been going on, in respect to the way management was treating the staff and about the discrimination and humilitaion they were being bullied with. I spoke to him giving my professional opinion about leadership and management and that the people he hired to be our supervisor cannot do crap without personal prejudices being how they proceed with decision-making.

And the school principal saw me in his office, and from that point on, they have done whatever they could find possible to get me to leave myself. Since they cannot fire me without the director’s approval and he isn’t going to let that happen. And there has been a silent war since then between the supervisors and myself. And today, I burst with slamming the door at one of their faces while they were in the middle of telling me to not use the word “shit” with them in speech.

It is so pathetic. I feel like just the younger teachers were actually trying to get students to learn to challenge their intellectual boundaries so they can challenge the culture’s expectations out of them. And all supervisors did the whole time was limit us in that. They did not want us to teach students anything they don’t want to learn and we cannot make exam questions where they have to use anything beyond memorization.

So, I had reached my high point. I went to one of the grades, told the students to highlight whatever they want to study, turn it into me within the hour, and I will make their exam straight out of it. Well, basically I yelled and snapped that at them, and they just kept staring at me, but obediently enough brought me what they wanted and didn’t want. And I made a 2 page exam for 50 points for them.

Because, that is what the supervisor asked of me. That is not what the supervisors asked of teachers in the boys’ section of our school. It is what is asked of teachers in the girls’ section of our school. High school students need word-to-word notes that need to be written on whiteboard, they need worksheets and worksheets that have to be solved on the board for them, and then they also need those worksheets summarized into a review worksheet for the exam. So the students never have to open the textbooks they spent thousands on.

I tried. Some of the others tried. But the supervisor tells me the three chapters I had given them for the final exam was too much for them, parents are threatening to go to the head office with the worksheets and they fear they will take their children to another school and we don’t want to lose them.

Yeah. I just stared at her face. And was like, “fine, I’ll go delete shit from the exam!” And then I got the “Mind your language when talking to me…” lecture which I walked away from slamming the door behind me at her face. And some of my students were right there, watching.

Unprofessional organizations are going to get a piece of their own unprofessionalism thrown right back in their face.

You are not allowed to do your job as a teacher here. You have to teach a 10th grade student like she is in the 6th grade. You cannot push them, encourage them, civilize them, make them use their brain, improve their thinking, motivate them to want to go to college rather than just get married and make babies when they graduate high school. You cannot revolutionize because, disgustingly enough, the women who run schools here do not bother trying to improve the living situation of the younger women. What these girls learned nothing in their 14 years of education, they learned in the 4 months the new, younger teachers taught them.

This is how poor standard of education persists. And it will only end when women stop living under a rock and succumbing to the expectations set for them. I tried. And I quit now. 2 more weeks of hell but thank God it is just examinations and corrections and then I am never going to look back again.

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Do You Know

5 May

It’s the simple things I needed
That you couldn’t give
It’s the little moments I wanted to share
But that is when you disappeared

Do you know what it’s like to love a ghost
It makes you wish you were invisible too
Do you know what it’s like to be meant to be with someone who’s dead
It makes your bones want to turn into trees and your hair into leaves
That fall off and die again when cold winds blow
It’s suicide to wish to be with you
Yet death smells like a sweet release
Where the heart can hurt no more
Where you can’t hurt me any more

So open your eyes up wide
So you may look into mine for the last time
So you can read every word I have written for you
So you can see what happens when a fragile heart falls in love
In love with someone cold out
So please look into my eyes
Study my soul and erase the marks you left on it
I don’t want the bruises to burn any more
I need you to let me go

I once wanted the simple things
The simple things that once made you so happy
But I am left wiping off the little things I ever shared with you.

The Month Of May

3 May

I fell in love one fine evening
It was in the month of May
It was the sweetest fruit I have had to taste
The days of laughter and the nights of kissing
I fell in love ever so unexpectedly
I fell so hard despite what I had planned
I broke my knees I could never get up
Even if I wanted to, I’d still need your arms
The sound of your voice and the dreaminess of your smile
I fell in love with your face and your soul
I didn’t want to but I inhaled every moment of our time
Take me back to the month of May
To that moment in that day
When you looked me in the eyes
And I saw the fire burning for me
I heard those words longing for me
I felt your grip tighten on to me
I wanted to be buried inside you too
So let it rain and let the flowers bloom
I want to stay under the light rays that peak through gray skies
I want the time with you to stand so still
So I can learn to remember everything you ever were
I hope all lovers who kiss in May
Can make their love last in some way
Their laughters echo with each other’s
Their tears blend with each other’s
Their fingers filling spaces between fingers of the other
Their souls smiling at the sight of the smile of the other
I fell in love in the month of May
I remember that feeling to this day
Even though it brings less joy than pain
Even though every time my heart cries for you it’s all in vain
I can find some solace and feel your gratitude
For loving something so unlovable as I
Even if it barely lasted for a day
You gave me a gift even though you took it away
I hold on and I live on
Much more quietly much more alone
I can’t make human connections that touch my soul
It was a nice, cool evening
Wind blowing through my hair
Darkness between us
When I fell in love
In love in the month of May.