Tag Archives: abuse

The Abused

7 Dec

You know about
all the horrible things
that could
happen to a woman?
Well, imagine it all
happening to one –
to be touched too young,
to be cheated on,
to be verbally, emotionally
and physically abused,
to endure sexual assault and rape.
Over and over, again, and again.
And you wonder why she
shies away from your love?
Because what destroyed her
is not where her happily ever after
can ever lie.
You created the poison
that runs through her veins now,
yet can’t stand how bitter it tastes.
Tired of circles,
she is heading on a straight path,
to find peace and happiness
of solitude
in her castle of thorns.

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Easy

18 Nov

It’s so easy
to pretend
isn’t it?
With the fake smiles
and all the lies,
that everything
is okay,
and you don’t have
anything to hide?
You do such a
god damn good job
at it,
no one can
fucking guess
the kinds of demons
that live within you,
teasing you
of your past,
haunting
your present,
destroying
your future.

The Abused

10 Nov

Tough was something she had to be,
but all sorts of fears crawled about
right under her skin.
She would pretend well
that her skin was thick
and she doesn’t bleed,
but when she had to face her fears,
she crumbled and surrendered.

After all, she was never taught
that she mattered.
And holding to the feeling of worthlessness tight,
she never once could for herself fight.

Cry

29 Oct

Go ahead and cry
Little girl
Let those tears
Roll down your cheeks
Drown the whole world
In the pain it made you feel
Let them suffer
How they made you suffer
So cry little girl
Shed those vengeful tears
You know they will
Avenge you soon
And set you free
So cry.

Karma At Work

15 Mar

First thought that crossed my mind the minute I heard the news this man had a heart attack, and has been in the hospital for almost a week now: karma.

A man is in critical condition and that is what I say? Well, I don’t feel sorry for him. He had it coming. The pain he had put his wife through for several years before kicking her out, and for how she has been struggling since then, losing her mind trying to start over, walking with her head held high even though anyone who is smart enough can see she is all broken inside… He deserved it.

He saved his reputation, he destroyed hers. He blamed her for things she never did, she remained quiet and silently dealt with it. Yeah, they were never able to have kids. But, the silver lining… There were no kids to see what class of an asshole their father is. Kicking a woman out well in her 50s, after suddenly having a sick fantasy of a younger prettier wife.

The demands he had… Pretty much fooled himself thinking he is looking at a movie star in the mirror, or thinking he’s one of those banks he’d be able to buy himself a golddigger. He was neither. He was just an ungrateful, selfish man who strayed from his responsibilities of a good husband, even a good honest human being, and called himself a devout religious man.

He is one of those people who I’d mentioned in one of my earlier posts, who marry for all the wrong reasons, particularly the one that disgusts me the most. He got married to this woman for his legal benefit, practically used her, abused her, destroyed her self-esteem, and left her to fend for herself.

And now he’s hanging between life and death. The scenario reminds me of “Diary of A Mad, Black Woman”. A great wife gets thrown out, all mad and broken as she starts to build her own life, and when the asshole is paralyzed like he was supposed to be, she returns to cater to him and brought him back to life. But at least stays wise enough to not return to start over again. She moves on to her happily ever after with a man who showed her what love is supposed to be.

Except that was a movie. She was young, there was her hero there. This is reality, however. This is a different culture altogether. There is no such thing as a hero, not without a miracle at least. There is society talking, always blaming the woman. This woman feels guilty now, torn, crying her heart out. They tell her to forgive and go see him, he needs her even if he says he doesn’t. She has never wished for anything bad for him, she calls it fate, says she has forgiven him, and hopes he is happy whatever he is doing with his life.

I understand her. I’ve never cursed anyone in my life, except for maybe, one person but it’s a whole different story. As for society, are you fucking kidding me!? No, he needs this to happen to him. He needs to learn from this, and go back chasing his hot wife fantasies. Good luck to him. I would like to see what dumb, desperate kind of a woman he is able to convince to marry him.

One of the things I strongly believe in because I have witnessed it happen so much is the wrath of a woman. Sometimes, movies is not the only place where justice is served. Life, if you open your eyes and observe, shows you little examples of rewards for the good and punishments for the wrong. And sometimes, you just have to believe there is a force greater than yourself that will make sure everything will be alright if your intentions are, too.

I don’t know about you, but I both observed and lived through a special kind of hell on earth for women, owned and run by a special class of men of course. Needless to say, I guess this is the reason why I always find myself in the lives of victims where I am giving it my all to try and make them want to keep on living. I can’t even complain – to be able to make a person smile through unbearable misery gives my life a sense of purpose I seem to be lacking lately.

We All Know Men Who Hate Women

25 Dec

The most interesting movie I’ve had the chance to watch this year is no doubt The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. The dark underlying theme of aggression towards women was much needed to be brought forward on big screen, especially today… Today when the world is redefining rape and trying to shun women to silence, as was done in the past.

I started off liking the male lead character, Mikhael. He seemed like a good husband and father, trying to solve the mystery of a missing girl, eager to crack the case of a serial rapist and murderer. However, he was still a douchebag – he still cheated on his wife, had sex with Lisbeth while working with her, and when they do find out who the killer is, he tries to defend him and why he could have done all the horrible things that he did.

“He had the same chances as us to choose what he wanted to be. He was no victim. He was a sadistic motherfucker who hated women.” – Lisbeth.

Of all the messages the movie conveyed, there was one that stuck out to me the most: that of trust. The trust Lisbeth found so hard to have in someone, especially the men in her life. And just when she thinks she could finally trust a male with her mind, her body, her heart, he still ends up betraying her, leaving her all alone.

The movie was a sharp reality-check. There was basically no nice man in the movie. Mikhael could have been – he could have loved the woman who put her life in danger to save his life, help finish what he started. But instead, he chose to hide his affair from his wife and continue being with her, not caring a bit about Lisbeth. Left her all alone.

As a woman who is often called a “man-hater”, the movie basically made my beliefs about the scarcity of good men even stronger. The rapists, the abusive spouses, the honor-killers, pedophiles, chauvinists, typical college douchebags – they are literally there every step I take. Everywhere I’d hear some male crack sexist jokes about how women belong in the kitchen, are horrible drivers, can’t be good leaders, calling them whores and justifying sexual assaults with “she was asking for it”.

They’d tell me to learn to take a joke. Well, I refuse to find anything funny about rape. I refuse to find anything funny about a girl who is working three jobs to support herself & her family being told she should be making sandwiches for the men in her life. I refuse to agree a girl is a whore just because she decides she could use a one-night stand to relieve whatever stress she could be having, all the while a boy is being praised as a womanizer for doing just that. To me, all these men are men who hate women.

You cannot be violent with a woman and say you did it because you care – you just left bruises all over someone like you would on someone you hate.

You cannot buy and sell women in trafficking and say you’re doing it cuz you need them – you are treating them far worse than you could treat an animal.

You cannot make sexist jokes and still say you love women – you just ridiculed them and their right to be who they choose to be.

You cannot sleep with them and forget them – you just disrespected them, refused to understand who they are, how they feel.

You cannot date them and cheat on them – you just played with their trust, you betrayed them.

None of that falls under love. It’s hate. Hate that could possibly stem from looking down on women, not thinking of them as human, or being jealous of how you’ll never be who they became, or simply envying how they fought and survived every hardship that came upon them better than you yourself could. Either way, it’s simply hate. And unfortunately for many women like me, there are not many places we can go without being attacked by men with such hate.

The most I can hope for and hopefully accomplish is to find that rare man I don’t experience this hate from, and when and if I do have a son, teach him to respect and love women for who they are, what they do… And especially to understand them before making judgemental statements about them. Basically, raise him to be a feminist.