Tag Archives: Beauty

Ironic

15 May

Ironic to find beauty

In that which is

At the brink of

Its death.

We are a cursed lot,

To begin to love

Only when our object

Is about to perish.

Advertisements

Afraid

10 Oct

And behind her silent beauty
Laid the most obnoxious of imperfections
They screamed beneath her pores
Yearning to be freed
Desperate to be revealed
Unable to conceal any longer
She stood there
Exposed and unashamed
Her terrible truth finally
Reflecting in his eyes
The best he had ever seen of her several faces
Afraid no longer
Of what she had always been.

Blemish

19 Jul

It was a challenge to love him
Not in a hidden treasure kind of way
But as trying to love a pimple on your cheek
Inane to want
Sarcastic need
An ugly blemish on your life
Simply fucking useless.

Mirror, Mirror

3 Jul

Mirror, mirror
In my lover’s eye
Show me the beauty that I do not see
Show me my cracks he fills up with his love
Show me my bruises that he soothes with his touch
Show me that within me, lies a spark of impeccability not heard about much.

Gradual Improvements

28 Jun

I don’t like summer. I don’t like the sun. I can’t stand the heat, I definitely despise myself after a few minutes in direct sunlight.

I noticed the difference today – the skin on my outer hand is well over 5 shades darker than the skin on my inner arm [you know, the part under the palm. I am not the sharpest in naming body parts deal with it]. It’s kind of even obvious on my face and I can barely stand myself at this point.

So well, I decided to go ahead spend the leftover of my last paycheck on off-the-shelf skincare. Which involved lemons, lemon juice, and honey. I wasn’t able to find a few other things I needed to make different masks in any of the stores I went to. But I treated myself with all of that tonight, even did my eyebrows cuz they were another reason I couldn’t stand to look at myself. I think I can already see the lemon juice and honey results. Probably just half a shade, but it’s seriously improving.

It is likely to change when I go out in the sun again tomorrow. I can avoid the 23 minute walk and take the bus, but in attempts of being generous to my skin, I wouldn’t be doing justice to my body. About the only exercise I get time for is the walk from home to the train station, and from the next stop to work. Just like tanning salons exist at almost every corner, I wish anti-tan salons existed too. I mean, WHY NOT?! How far behind is your science and technology to care a little about brown-skinned people like myself who tan faster than anybody else against their will?!

Sighs. I have issues with my appearance if it wasn’t clear already.

The only time I appreciate the sun is when it’s negative Celsius weather and when it’s raining for the mere sake of spotting a rainbow. Yeah, I don’t care about beaches unless it’s between dusk and dawn. I would rather go shopping and to amusements parks at night [like everyone does in Saudi Arabia and probably other Middle Eastern countries too] just to avoid burning into charcoal or melting or dehydrating for that matter. Sometimes, I really do wish shopping centers and restaurants in Chicago knew a thing or two about staying open late, at least till 11PM, considering there is no sunset until sometime around 8PM.

I now smell like honey all over. This is not the smartest move either, since all day, I have been running and shooing away something that looks like a honeybee as it kept flying around in my apartment. In the whole battle, I managed to pull down the curtains and have failed to put them up properly – they can fall again anytime.

I could most likely get stung if the bee is still around, hiding, waiting. I need to shower again.

But, on a brighter note, I am moving on with my life and about to go ahead register for GMAT, once I am a week or two into preparing for it and being a 100% sure I can pass that stuff. Looking into taking it end of July or mid August, depending on when and what I hear back from the programs I am trying to apply for. And depending on how much I have after paying off rent and some of my loans.

I can do this.

I need to repeat these 4 words to myself a lot more often so I start to believe it. So I can start the journey towards being more than enough than being stuck on never enough.