Tag Archives: friends

Rediscovered, Rekindled.

1 Jul

I finally talked to an old friend today, one who was basically lost for the longest time. Guess that is what happens when you are miles away and one of you doesn’t have proper access to technology to stay in touch, or the time to write letters or use carrier pigeons for that matter.

Part of it I guess was me, too. I had been so busy with life I ended up keeping some of my best friends out of the loop as to what I have been up to, what has been going on with me. I guess I do appreciate the days I am getting off of work, just so I can talk about our lives instead of the usual cute animal pictures we keep sending back and forth.

Either ways, I realize how much I missed my girls when we finally got time to connect, and I finally felt they got my back no matter what decisions I make with my life – no matter what poor judgement they are based on. They are like shadows in the dark, sometimes. I can’t see them, they are not physically present in my life – but their words from miles away bring this comfort like I know I will never be alone.

Of course, the time difference blows. All of them are together doing everything we loved to do together, except well, I am not there this time. And it’s even worse that I don’t know if I will ever see them again, which doesn’t have to be via video chat. I mean, we have done the whole they-get-together-skype-call-me and I am in the room, just on a computer, part of the conversation. Those have been fun.

It’s not always easy being away from people who genuinely care about you. People leave work to vent out about their day to friends and family; I do the reverse and vent out about nothing at all to the people I work with. But I make a comedy out of everything when I do vent out to them. Although, the past few days they have been teasing me about my mood swings, which I don’t believe I have but the joke’s on at my work anyways about it.

But either ways, I am grateful for the friends I have, and I love the rare moments I get to tell them about my life – regardless of how far away they are from me, regardless of barely ever video chatting with them. I would rather have them in my life that way than not have them at all.

So, a thank you to all of them for being who they are and being who they were meant to be in my life – despite only a couple of them knowing my blog address, and if I even blog.

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Video

I Make The Same Mistakes

24 Jun

I make the same mistakes feels like I never learn
Always give way too much for little in return
I haven’t changed a bit I’m still not over it
I make the same mistakes I make the same mistakes ahhh

I never did grow up feels like I never will
My friends are all adults I’m still a teenage girl
I haven’t changed a bit I’m still not over it
I make the same mistakes I make the same mistakes ahhh

My friends are all a drag they think I’m such a flake
they wanna go to bed I wanna stay up late
walking the streets alone thinking of you til dawn
I make the same mistakes I make the same mistakes ahhh

Favorite Quote of The Day

9 Jun

There is a reason I keep my conversations with my friends private. They are highly opinionated, honest, smart and extremely inappropriate.

The Vicious Cycle of Friendships

7 Jun

What’s funny is when you meet someone your friends aren’t sure about, you go above and beyond to defend that person, even if it leads to almost destroying your friendship… only to learn, in the end, your friends were right all along. And you’re able to come out of the delusion and go back to normal, until you meet someone new again.

Cycle continues.

Video

The Nicest Thing

3 Jun

All I know is that you’re so nice
You’re the nicest thing I’ve seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

I wish you couldn’t figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you’d hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you’d never forget
The look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
‘Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,
Actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you’d be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn’t eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Look, all I know is that you’re the nicest thing I’ve ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something

Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something

Word of Advice

3 Jun

So in their attempt to shove reality of dating in my face, this is what my boys at work tell me:

“So everytime a dude approaches you, offering you something, like ‘you want a ride home?’ or ‘you wanna go smoke sheesha?’ or ‘you wanna go out for dinner?’ he is offering you his penis.”

Now with that advice, yeah I can believe every dude will only want me for my body. Not that it’s been any different but it’s not a reality I wanted to believe.

But oh well. Always good to have honest guy friends.

We Get On

2 Jun

And when I saw you kissing that girl
my heart, it shattered
and my eyes, they watered
and when I tried to speak, I stuttered.

And my friends were like –
whatever, you’ll find someone better
his eyes are way too close together
and we never even liked him from the start
and now he’s with that tart
and I heard she done some really nasty stuff
down in the park with Michael.
He said she’s easy
and if your guy’s with someone that’s sleazy
then he ain’t worth your time
cuz you deserve a real nice guy

So i proceeded to get drunk and to cry,
locked myself in the toilets for the entire night…

Kate Nash.

I Surrender

29 May

Why did I expect it to be different this time around? Why DO i ever expect it to be different ANY time around?

I stay corrected yet again. Sometimes I feel friends are always gonna be right about me being too young to understand some things, and in my crazy wonderland of a mind everything is always gonna be ready to want to believe even when a part of me is begging and pushing me to keep my guard up.

It’s like I know I should trust my initial judgement of an individual, but another part of me always has to step up and give people a chance to prove themselves otherwise – this part of me should be shot in the head with a machine gun for all I care. Not once has it been right.

So what seemed like a blessing in disguise for a moment there, is actually a curse big enough for anyone to see, and I remain blind. There’s no hope for me, it’s pretty clear.

I am glad I didn’t bet on the intentions of this person – I’d be so broke it’s not even gonna be funny.

Run run run away baby, as fast as you can. When you know somethings are not meant for you, stop considering any possibility of it when it comes knocking at your door. #NoteToSelf

Don’t Tell Me Our Youth Is Running Out, It’s Only Just Begun

27 Apr

Yeah, so it’s my birthday. The odd age of 23. Where I probably can’t even achieve any special milestone I will remember this coming year for.

I have been all excited and stuff, but the minute I realized it’s past midnight, something came over me. And the next thing I know, while I am sitting texting friends and looking at my facebook wall getting filled with birthday wishes, I am crying. Crying uncontrollably.

I couldn’t understand why, really. All my past recent birthdays flashed in front of me, oh howww bad I miss being with my college family! I miss the midnight hugs and cheers, I miss the surprises I got, hearing from friends I don’t hear from all year long, being able to laugh so hard my tummy hurt… It’s all so far behind me.

Growing up, yes. Tell myself just another day, yes. But do I want it to be just another day? No. I want it to be my day, I want to be around people who don’t even have to try to make it fun for me, them being there does it. I want to be around people who accept me for all that I am, the way I am, and it’s easy to be me around them too.

Yes, I have made several changes to my lifestyle this year. I have given up habits I was never really too proud of having, I am focused on being a better person. But, the tears that I cried for the whole first hour of my birthday, I realize it’s less the things I did to celebrate, but more the people I celebrated with that I miss so much.

I just wish I could have had this weekend off, so I could have went back to Michigan and seen everyone. We could have just sat in one room and would have had the best time doing nothing at all because that is what it had always been like with them.

What do I feel on this day? Lonely. I know I’m not alone, I am far from it. I have constant support from my best friends, even though it’s from continents away. They are all an instant message away, and I don’t have to wait more than 10 seconds for them to get back to me. I could probably keep my cellphone away and start trying to build relationships with people around me, but I have forever been extremely selective of people I let into my life. I choose to bond with a few people, it’s nothing to them. It’s just my personal comfort level and I still don’t know reasons why I am comfortable with someone at all.

What will become of this birthday? Few phone calls from the dearest, facebook and twitter going off, spending half my day at work, and so far undecided as to what I truly want to do after. If wishes were to come true, I would want to be either back with my college family or my girls back in Saudi Arabia, either living like there is no tomorrow or having a quiet, comforting bonding time.

Either way, blessed to be alive. Make 23 count now. Lay off the burgers.

Princess

9 Mar

I get called Princess for nothing. More than my dad was supposed to call me. Which he sadly never did. I don’t have a problem with it or anything, it’s just a random thought I realize after a friend referred to me as Princess today. I don’t go around wearing a crown – I only wore a tiara once for my 21st birthday, but I’d definitely do it again.

Or maybe it’s because of my Persian heritage. After that whole Prince of Persia thing, anything Persian is just better referred to as royalty. Pretty corny princess

Or maybe it’s because I come from one of the only few kingdoms left in the world with a really big royal family… where you don’t know if the person driving that Mercedes is a prince or not. This princess would make sense.

Or maybe because I sing to animals and talk to objects, and am always smiling? Ehhhh… nahh!

Or maybe it’s just my name. Better than other princesses

Either way, well, Princess it is.