Tag Archives: iphone

iPhone? iCant.

26 Apr

(I am going to try to not be too explicit but just forewarning: it can be NSFW)

Earlier today, while talking with my best friend about her highly unsatisfying one night stands, we tried to figure out reasons why they are all such disappointments. It was nothing to her, she found herself attracted to them, but when it got down to it, size and functionality mattered a lot – neither of which were anything close to bearable.

After all the brainstorming, it came up that if there was anything mutual among the guys, it was that they all owned iPhones.  Something with the phone vibrations in their pocket caused damage? Or that owning an iPhone got to their heads in such a manner they can act like complete tools but not live up to a  perfect reputation.

So well, either way, we came to a simple conclusion. LADIES… avoid men who own iPhones. As a dedicated Android supporter, I don’t think there is any better way to successfully sloganize the Android.

Save your sex life, lay off the iPhone.

The theory doesn’t apply to women with iPhones, just men so far. I haven’t had much feedback from guys about how good or bad in bed a female iPhone user was, but the vice versa has stood correct so far, from several sources. So well, as if cellphones weren’t already used to understand the class of a person, now their sex drive can be figured via them.

Go ahead, test theory, give feedback.