So well, after a lot of thinking and negotiating, I finally accepted the job offer after weighing the pros and cons of it. It’s still my first week and I am getting familiar with the whole company and the product line, and knowing myself, I am sure I’ll come to understand the business culture in this country and adapt myself and my techniques to it in a couple of weeks.
I’m a training consultant now. From retail selling experience to more B2B. It’s exciting. I like the content – however, access to potential clients is limited and most are built through referrals. I think this competitive, professional experience is just what I wanted and so badly need. And of course, excited that I am about to have the workaholic lifestyle that I am always so comfortable in.
The cons? It’s Saudi Arabia. It’s hot, information is limited, independence in non-work life is limited, and of course, not the life I had imagined where I am going to have to listen to how I have to be in every aspect of my life. But, nevertheless, I feel like my life will become a PG-rated version of one of my favourite TV shows: House Of Lies. And that is the thrill.
As for J, well, we had our one real fight. Lasted a night and then it was OK. It seemed like the unexpected was going to happen. I am becoming more and more ambitious, planning alternative routes for my life direction. On the other hand, he is becoming hesitant and more stubborn, and refuses to change. Change to grow. To devise a proper plan for the future. He is being lazy, and that is making me mad. And that is feeding into his jealousy of what I’m becoming, the “rich and successful” men I am coming across, And the fear that the money I’ll make here will make me want to stay and never return to him. It’s not easy for him, he constantly feels under pressure and sometimes uncomfortable and I cannot blame him. We are two different worlds and people in all senses that we thought we could easily bring together because of love.
This is the testing phase of our relationship: is there chemistry in distance? Yes, sort of. But judging from how my love life has gone in the past, I am starting to feel we are more likely to fall through because either we were right where we left off, or have changed way too much.
Oh well, I have to wake up in 4hrs and stay awake and highly alert and on my feet for 12 hours. I should utilize this time to now sleep. And step back later.
NumzicaL 